Izzy..........on why we always want what we don't have

I guess this tim ei'm gonna talk about why we always want things we can't have. I think it's simple enough, people are never satisfied. I have fiends who say they envy me and my life and I can't understand that at all. If you knew me , really knew me, you owuld get it. I guess i'll explain a little, I am married,going on 8 years,but it's not the happy perfect relationship. He has alot of issues that make me exhausted at the least on a daily basis. Yes we have survived alot in our time, yes we are still together, but most days i wonder why the hell that is and think about what life would be like if i left him. I can honestly say i bet he thinks the same thing. We have 2 kids, and they ar egreat, but i never wanted kids and mostly i feel like i was tricked into being this wife and mommy and that is not the life i ever wanted for myself. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my children, I regret having them too young and with a person who is incapable of being right for me. So why someone would want this is beyond me, people seem to have ideas about my life that are very wrong. I think constantly about the perfect guy for me, is he tall,slim or bigger? Doe she love me unconditionally? I hope so. I want things though that i'll probably never have, i want him to be funny and artistic. I want romance and adoration, but in a tough guy kinda way, not the oversensitive kind. I want him to be tough, but not with me, and love to laugh, to be smart and gorgeous, if only in my eyes. Iwant him to know me for me and love me anyway. I want Rob Pattinson naked playing guitar in my room for all time but prolly not gonna get it.

It seems like we want things we are almost sure not to have and then when by luck we getthem they lose appeal somehow. Think of all the stars who spend their life seeking fame only to get it and be miserable because they hate all the attention. Or the people who win the lottery and then figure out the money wasn't going to make things better like they thought. Or the friends who secretly have feelings for eachother but never express them becuase they fear being rejected ( i've had a relationship that started just like that.....it was disastrous.). I have to wonder why the unattainable is so alluring to us, to me. Why can't we simply be happy with what we have? It disturbs me that there will always be a need for things that cannot be ours and that no matter how good you have it, there is no true happiness, devoid of misery in some form. Find one person who is completely, 100% happy in their life and i will erase this post.

What is wrong here? When we get what we want we wantmore,when we have that it's not enough. i'm frustrated at myself i guess, most people would be glad to have what i do.